DEALING WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE
Life is full of challenges, but nothing is more uncomfortable than dealing with negative people. Sometimes, it’s challenging to get away because these people are family, friends, clients, coworkers, bosses, or partner.
That’s why you need to learn what to do and how to react to a toxic person. And that way to prevent him or her from influencing your life, in a way that stops you from growing and reaching your most important goals.
And that’s why today I want to share with you three secrets that have help me to understand and deal with toxic people.
Secret #1: There will always be someone who doesn’t like you.
The more you grow, the more you develop and evolve in the direction of becoming the great person you want to be, there will always be someone around you who will not like this. Sometimes these people are between your loved ones. They are pessimistic, and they may not be aware of this, but you know, you feel terrible anytime you are around them.
Identifying Toxic People
How do I know when someone is a toxic person?
Well, the specialty of negative people is to discourage you and bring you down. If you have not yet identified a toxic person, these tips can help.
-Negativity is very contagious, you will find yourself in a bad mood, and emotionally drained when you are around a pessimist.
-These people never take responsibility for their lives. As a result, they are always looking for others to blame for their failures. Indeed, sometimes you might be one.
-No matter how much you do to please them, they never will be satisfied.
-Their favorite topic of conversation is complaining. They complain about everything: about their partner, their friends, their work, the weather, absolutely everything.
-You feel sick when you talk to them, and you always wish it was the last time. There is so much drama in their words that it’s sometimes impossible to take a positive turn in the conversation.
-They lack empathy and compassion. The last thing you can expect from them is a help, or a piece of good advice when you’re in trouble. Generally, they are demanding and put a lot of pressure on those close to them, but they are incapable of offering emotional support to others. Sometimes they may even attempt to help you, but don’t trust them, as they often don’t provide this selflessly.
-It isn’t just a bad day! We all have bad days when we can’t stand ourselves, but toxic people usually behave this way.
Be aware of your worth to avoid influences of negative people
“The sun has spots. The ungrateful do not talk about anything but the spots. The grateful talk about the light.” -José Martí
You are the sun! And you need to know that there are always be people who won’t like you. These people won’t see your light, only your darkness.
They will feel threatened by your successes, envious, and jealous of your victories. Therefore, they won’t see how much you’ve struggled to triumph, and they won’t lose the opportunity to gossip about you, criticize you in front of others, and behind your back in the worst-case scenario.
Sometimes they will even openly manifest that they don’t like you. When this happens, it’s easier to identify and keep these people away from our lives. When it becomes a real challenge, it’s when they are a member of our family or someone from our circle of friends.
Don’t waste your time trying to explain to them why they should change their attitude. Don’t try to change them in any way, even if you think you are helping. Many times the actions of toxic people are determined by a pattern of low self-esteem, and nobody can change that except themselves.
Be compassionate and empathetic. Usually, we don’t understand someone’s behavior, but deep down, we don’t know their history, where that mindset came from, and what experiences may have led them to be the person they are today.
To protect yourself, keep your emotional distance. Don’t engage in conversations that you know in advance will leave you overwhelmed and confused.
Firstly, understand that it isn’t your job to make an unhappy person happy. The only person for whose happiness you are responsible is you.
Secret #2: Life is a mirror.
Our life always reflects our interior, what we are feeling and thinking. Consequently, tough situations and people appear as lessons we must learn to overcome ourselves and grow.
Are you surrounded by toxic people all the time? Have you ever wondered why? Who are you that attract this kind of person and experience in your life? And, what can you do to change that?
Contrary to toxic people, when you leave the role of the victim and take charge of your emotions, you know that your life is your responsibility and that only you can change it.
Is there a bully in your life? Look at which parts of your personality feel vulnerable, and you will know where to start working.
Listening and understanding the voice of our inner negative person.
Don’t turn a blind eye to these problems. Is there someone abusing your boundaries, intoxicating your emotions, and treating you without respect? Are you doing that to yourself? For example: Are you always telling yourself how fat, ugly, stupid, incompetent, or pathetic you are?
Keep an eye on these thoughts as they not only will attract negative people into your life but also severe illnesses.
Start looking for answers within you. Because only from the inside, you can solve, once and for all, the issues that have been distressing you.
Focus on increasing your self-esteem, growing as a person, making yourself happier, and being physically and mentally healthy. Love and accept yourself as you are, stop criticizing you, and sabotaging the idea that you are a great person worthy of love.
Allow yourself to look at the world with kind eyes. And understand that no one is entirely evil. Your perception can make a big difference. So, are you going to focus on the good things of people around you, or are you just going to look at the bad stuff? It is your choice!
Secret #3: Better alone than in bad company!
Since the human being is a social animal, we have given a negative connotation to loneliness.
For instance, we think that a lonely person is a sad or depressed person without friends and with a very dull life!
Sometimes, we want to belong to a group to feel loved and supported. And this is great when this group is loving, and accept us as we are. As a result, we feel comfortable being ourselves and sharing our ideas without being judged.
But if these people are not in harmony with you and always make you feel bad, perhaps it’s a sign that you don’t belong there, and it’s time for you to do something about it. Even if it’s your family, yet, if it’s a friend from kindergarten, you need to take action about those toxic relationships.
KEEPING NEGATIVE PEOPLE AWAY
Did you know that you become the five people you surround yourself with most of the time? So, start choosing carefully.
Choose those who make you laugh, those you can trust and love without fear, those who know the power to forgive, and thank.
Surround yourself with people who are as crazy as you are. What do I mean with this? People who have a similar mindset to yours. People who encourage you to continue with your projects and to keep growing consistently.
Now more than ever, we can access social media to connect with people who have similar interests to ours. And if you don’t find this community easily, enjoy being alone.
THE POWER OF LONELINESS
When you enjoy your company, you start loving yourself and becoming your best friend. Loneliness is a gift! When you are alone, you can begin nurturing your life with positive things. No distractions, no obstacles! You don’t have to explain, and you don’t have the noise of other’s people opinions interfering with your decisions.
Don’t let lack of approval stops you! In other words, you only need your permission to move on with your life and succeed in whatever you want.
Stop sacrificing your beliefs and self-love when you relate to others. Doing so, you only bring people into your life who will put you down and hurt you, and this is the main reason you are attracting toxic people. If you don’t know your value and what you deserve, no one else will.
RESOURCES TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE
If you are looking to improve in a way that you become less vulnerable to negativity and toxic people in your life, I highly recommend that you look at the work of authors like Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Jack Canfield, and Oprah Winfrey. These are the people I want to listen to when I’m in trouble.
To sum up, negative people can bring many insecurities to our lives. Most of the time, these people are mirrors of our inner world, so we must know how to detect what is wrong within us and how to fix it to overcome ourselves. Strengthening our self-esteem, being grateful, and changing our internal negative conversations and thoughts are a good starting point.
If you want to know how you can strengthen your mental wellness, I invite you to check this video.
So, I hope this article has been helpful for you to understand how to deal and identify with negative people.
Comment below to let me know what do you think about it, and if you ever have been in a situation where someone toxic has made your life tough.
I send you a big hug and see you very soon!
