And they lived happily ever after.
That is the plan! That is the expectation when we walk down the aisle to join for life the Prince Charming of our dreams.
It sucks, but fairy tales don’t meet the expectations of real life.
The importance of having a happy married life
Once we decide to get married, this part of our lives will influence every other area.
Suppose you feel happy in your relationship, supported, confident, and fulfilled. In that case, you can focus, for example, on achieving financial success, full health, carrying out projects that will take your life to the next level.
On the contrary, you will find yourself in a relationship that will drain your energy and will not let you focus on living life to the fullest.
Marriage has been an adventure for me. One full of challenges, frustrations, changes, but, without a doubt, it has brought us closer, my husband and me, making us a more reliable, loving, committed, and understanding couple.
Here I share some of my secrets.
#1 Be yourself a happy person before marriage.
Put your demons under control before marriage. Don’t rush the decision to get married if you haven’t had a chance to know yourself, honestly.
It would be best to solve some things by yourself because marriage can be a propitious space for flaws to thrive and become uncontrollable beasts.
Jealousy, mistrust, anger, emotional dependency, personal frustration, low self-esteem, and stress management issues are some of the worst.
Taking 100% responsibility for your emotions and actions will be a powerful tool in facilitating a successful and happy married life.
#2 Know what you want in a committed relationship.
Another benefit of taking time to be happy with yourself is that accomplished people know what they want and deserve.
A happy woman doesn’t want a troublemaker, a macho man, or a frustrated baby by her side.
A fulfilled woman does not expect any man to come “complete her.”
A woman with self-esteem knows that she deserves a man who respects her, loves her, understands her, and supports her throughout life.
#3 Be open to learn the lessons.
Marriage brings with it many new experiences, challenges, and new opportunities to learn valuable life lessons.
In general, our love partners are mirrors that reflect areas of our lives that we have neglected and need to work on right away.
Let’s be flexible, patient, honest, and aware of our responsibility for the marriage’s success.
It is not about changing our personality but about understanding that some behaviors do not allow the relationship to flourish. And they deeply affect us on a personal level as well.
Has it happened to you that you have had several relationships where the same things seem to happen?
If some of those patterns started repeating in your marriage, it’s a clue to which lessons you need to learn. Be willing to work on your personal fulfillment to achieve a successful and happy marriage.
Read this article if you want to know How Childhood Trauma Affects Adult Relationships.
#4 Assertive communication.
This area is one I had to work on a lot to have a positive relationship.
Assertive communication means expressing your feelings, emotions, problems, and frustrations without hurting or offending others.
It is to know how to argue, talk about your expectations and the things that bother you about the other person while maintaining an open attitude to understanding, without being defensive.
Something that really helps me, especially when arguing, is to keep in mind that “I love this man.” When we talk from a loving attitude is easier to find solutions.
#5 Be each other greatest cheerleaders.
When I decided that I wanted to stop the musical career that I committed to since I was ten years old to start an online health coaching business, my husband was the only person that supported me in that decision.
I mean by this that it’s great to count on your hubby to achieve your goals.
Husband and wife become the primary friends and family of each other.
It’s fantastic to cheer each other up through adversity, illness, challenges, and problems.
When the couple has this type of attitude, their commitment and love are tested. And it also develops a unique level of complicity and trust.
#6 Spicing up your romantic lives.
The daily routine becomes one of the most significant challenges for a married couple. Children, work, responsibilities seem to overwhelm us, making us forget our romantic lives.
Sometimes it takes a little effort to spice up love.
Plan romantic dates, go for a walk in new places, share a hobby, do new activities together.
Flatter, touch, hug, kiss, and caress your partner as much as you can. And, of course, put your creativity to work towards having a fun and enjoyable sex life.
Those little moments, which sometimes seem insignificant, are what make a couple stay in love and happy the longest.
#7 Be true to yourself.
Not for an instant, you stop being who you are.
Keep taking time alone to love and please yourself. Remember that the best half is nothing more than a myth. You have to be a person of integrity, dreams, plans, and goals beyond having a happy and successful marriage.
Stay in touch with your old friends, your family, and your culture.
Listen to yourself and satisfy your personal needs. And stay true to yourself. After all, that person you are was the one who made your partner fall madly in love.
#8 Finances in order.
Ok, maybe you had not achieved your goal of becoming a millionaire, but this is something you and your hubby can work out together.
Not much is said about this topic. It remains a taboo in the 21st century. It is as if talking about money denies true love.
But it is always healthy to put the cards on the table regarding the couple’s finances.
Organizing a family budget to cover basic needs, emergencies, retirement, and financial independence can save you many headaches.
Understanding each other’s money blueprint, how you were educated about it, your beliefs, and how you use it will help you plan to avoid struggles and conflict regarding finances.
Remember that the future of your family’s health, habits, education, and well-being are closely tied to your finances.
#9 Be a team.
Just as you should organize your finances together, almost all important decisions will turn into teamwork.
Your partner’s voice and opinion should matter to you, since generally both will be affected by the consequences, both positive and negative, of some decisions.
Talk openly about lifestyles, financial investments, health, parenting, sexuality, career, and personal fulfillment.
Work together on your projects. And contribute the best of yourselves to the realization of these goals.
#10 Couple goals.
Speaking of goals …Keep it interesting by setting targets as a couple.
One thing that keeps the marriage motivated is designing a better future together.
From planning the next vacation to achieving financial freedom, any goal you set out is a fantastic opportunity to keep the passion alive. And once completed, the admiration and trust that you have between you will grow even more.
My husband and I make a vision board each year with our couple goals and check it frequently to see if we are on track. This is also a fun activity that has helped us keep a successful and happy marriage.
#11 Quality time together.
Despite the commitments and different responsibilities, always take some quality time to spend with your partner.
Love is like a plant that you must care for, cultivate and nourish for it to grow and develop.
Do something that you both enjoy and take advantage of that little time to love each other and get closer.
Besides, if you are looking forward to spending some alone time with your significant other, it’s a good sign things are working out.
#13 Accepting different roles in different situations.
Life doesn’t always go as planned. Things happen, and being flexible and comprehensive is a way to keep our marriage’s balance and health.
I’m sure your marriage will be marked by a lot of happy events. But there is no denying that sometimes unemployment, illnesses, and other inconveniences can happen and take you out of your central role and comfort zone.
Regarding this point, I had an experience that was quite a lesson.
Once my hubby and I decided to establish in a new country.
I was unable to work for over a year. It was tough for me, as an independent woman, to be reduced to stay home and be a full-time housewife.
Sometimes I thought I would lose my mind cause this situation was unacceptable for me. But this wasn’t an option. I had to carry on with my life, knowing that this situation was only temporary.
My husband and I had many arguments about it because I was heartbroken about my lack of freedom. But it wasn’t on his hands or mine. We could just wait.
I trusted life and became a loving housewife for my husband while he was the only bread provider of our family, for the first time in our relationship.
We both assumed these new roles knowing that it was useless to complain or blame each other. This crisis wouldn’t take us apart. On the contrary, it strengthened our trust and commitment.
Special Bonus: Be grateful to your spouse.
Expressing our gratitude to our spouses is also a way of loving.
Feeling grateful for every detail, for sharing life together, for being there when no one else was, is a way to attract more positive experiences into your life.
Marriage is strengthened by gratitude. Make it a habit in your married life.
Recognize your spouse’s efforts to make you happy. Acknowledge their support, affection, and integrity. And, of course, thank life for the special relationship you share with that human being.
I even joke with my husband sometimes that I thank his previous girlfriends for letting him go. (LOL)
It’s over for today.
I hope it has helped you reaffirm your married life.
Let me know in the comments how did you find these keys to a successful and happy marriage. And if you have any tips that could serve me in my marriage, don’t forget to share it.
It could also interest you to read:
3 little secrets to detoxify your life of negative people
